I’m a night owl.

I’m in the midst of being disciplined. I’m at home on one of my favorite nights of the week to be out. I’m watching one of my favorite movies, Patton, and being generally impressed with myself. Why? I really have no idea.

The last couple of days have been hot as shit and quite entertaining. Yesterday was one of the more interesting in recent memory.

So yesterday started off lazy enough then proceeded to be typically long. Someone had the brilliant idea to go to the beach (see pictures below) which we arrived at just in time to enjoy the last waning moments of sun. New Jersey is an odd place. It is filled with the most unique group of homogenous people. This sentiment was reinforced later in the evening back in the city. I cannot say that prior to yesterday I had ever consumed anything from Applebee’s. That was a good thing. I can say with some certainty that I won’t be eating at Applebee’s again. I recommend that no one else does either. With out going into the specifics of the establishment’s culinary delinquency, the thing I found amusing was the overwhelming amount of staff in the place. I’m not sure what exactly they were doing. I personally witnessed a whole lot of nothing—I believe that is what they were paid to do.

So I was covered with whatever it is that covers you while in repose by the sea by the time I got home. The shower turned out to be an unfortunate incident. I was awake. Being awake I did what I must, I left. The office was empty upon my arrival which was pleasant. The pleasantness was not to last. As an aside, prior to the disruption of people I was pleased to learn that a variation of the worst drink ever was served in a bar.

If memory serves me correct, it was around the New Year when I found myself in the company of good friends and a drink was invented. Needless to say, I vomited instantly—Jägermeister and mayonnaise can do that. I had shared the recipe with my friend the bartender and apparently he committed it to memory. It was served this last week to some high powered partner in a TriBeCa bar. There was a twist though to the original: the addition of some milk and fresh watermelon juice. The gents whom ordered the worst drink imaginable left the bar promptly after ingesting it.

So anyways, the office was quiet for a brief time last night. The quiet was shattered by the most annoying group of inebriated 22 year old girls ever. Trashy people are just trashy. Sometimes social Darwinism fails us. Lucky for me the circus came next. The publishers came next. (I feel like I might be channeling Martin Niemöller at the moment.) When I say the circus came I wasn’t kidding—a host of trapeze artists and puppeteers from Cirque Éloize noisily invaded the place with all kinds of circus talk.

The publishers were amusing since one member of their small entourage kept trying to convince me to let them all come over to my place for pancakes and beverages. Their request was declined Eventually the British woman who was described as an extra from the Harry Potter films realized that I wasn’t into the whole old-haggard chic look she had going on and let me alone. Everyone left. I locked the door, the office quiet again, enjoyed one last beverage, and went home.